I have lately been busy with this grand project. All this time, I’ve been storing boxes and boxes of old photos of my family which my late mother kept for many years, and not just years but decades. Really old ones, too, even dating back from mum’s childhood in the 1930s! Many also of mum and dad together in happier times still courting back in the 1950s. They looked so happy together, and you can see how much in love they were. When I was 12, my parents split up, and long story but I hadn’t seen him since I was 19. Both have sadly passed away, my mother 7 years ago. Looking at the photos made me cry. It is an emotional journey but a healing process for me. And now I’ve started scanning the photos and starting to create digital albums for them.
I have hardly spoke about my father to others. When asked I try to change the subject or avoid further discussion. I just wanted to shut it all out, put it behind me and move on. But now I realise moving on means dealing with your past, tie up loose ends and put a proper closure to that part of my life. And here I would like to share a little drawing I made on my iPad a few days ago. It took some courage to do this but I went for it because I felt I was ready to.
Once I began, though, I just kept on going. This drawing was done using a light grey background and then outlining with a water pen brush. I then coloured in using acrylic. It’s mum and dad of course, and little me in between holding hands with both. Happier times together, although I was a bit of unruly kid trying to run off much to my parent’s dismay. Still it’s what I imagined what a happy family would be like.
I added another layer here for the details on the clothes and more hair. And the eyes. Yes the eyes. I was reluctant to make it all smiling. For now, I might leave it “neutral” as I’m not quite ready to make it a completely happy theme for now. It will come. I just need some time till I can come to terms with my past and realise those were in fact happy moments.
Despite that, I wanted to brighten up the atmosphere by adding some sunlight and green grass. I used some spray paint for those and doodled in some plants. My parents loved taking me to the park, I seem to remember. Not to mention photos they took about it. Now I’m really glad I went through my photos and further began drawing what came to my mind. A very healing and therapeutic experience indeed, and I’m definitely going to continue looking through my old photos and documenting them. Of course, I will definitely be drawing more as an outlet for my thoughts and emotions. Art is also healing and therapeutic.
My Kawaii Quarter 