Where is my Stuff???

I’ve not been feeling that great the past few days. So many misfortunes and annoyances converging, each of which are not major disasters but when one after another and piling up, they get too much to handle. Whilst I’m still struggling to sell my apartment in Amsterdam which has been on the market for the past year (and no I will not rent it out), what triggered it all was a package I’m expecting from Singapore. A big fat box of Hello Kitty plushies which has according to the tracking, been sitting in the Dutch customs since 5 October. That’s over a month! The post office can’t help because as it’s handed over to the Customs they are unable to intervene. And we tried reaching Customs only to get a recorded message: “if this is about a package you are expecting, then please call your courier service”. Once again, we tried the post office who reiterated and regret that as the package is still at Customs they have no influence over it and that we should just wait patiently. Patiently???

You might be thinking, but why all the panic? It’s just a box of plushies right? Well, they’re not “just” plushies. They happen to be rare and of limited edition which are very hard to get hold of. As a serious collector, I was very much forward to getting them at last and adding to my collection. Plus they cost quite a bit. At this point, it is not about the money but more that they cannot be replaced! They are priceless items, and that’s what makes it so difficult to deal with. As a result, I’ve been so angry, sad, frustrated, helpless and anxious that it’s been affecting my daily life. I start losing concentration and start forgetting things. Then I drop things because I’m not focused. I get irritable easily and worked up about everything. WHERE IS MY STUFF??? I keep ranting. All I want is that they are safe and will get delivered soon. Many friends have been supportive, also praying I will get them soon and not to lose hope as most of them do get recovered even if a few months later. I hope they are right. At the moment, though, I find it difficult to have faith.

Unfortunately, they are right, there isn’t much I can do at the moment but sit and wait. Perhaps drawing about it though might help me deal with the anxiety. Once I was able to compose myself, I found an empty page on one of my sketchbooks, randomly choosing one with toned tan paper . It already had a drawing on it which I had started earlier when testing my pastel-toned colored pencils but abandoned as it didn’t work too well. Instead of tearing the page out, I thought I’d be resourceful and draw over it. Out came my set of pastel pencils by Derwent, as I figured pastels will stand out more against the tan paper. So far so good! And here I began, sketching away and expressing how I really feel. I wanted to cry and scream so on paper I had a good cry. And there I am, standing on a puddle of tears. Surprisingly, the sketching flowed really smoothly perhaps because I was so emotional. A quick sketch to let me vent. Vent on paper and also here on the keyboard as I type this piece. WHERE IS MY STUFF???