Happier Now

Great to be back here after some time! I spent two weeks in Tokyo between the end of November and start of this month which explains my absence. You see, I’m selling my apartment which my late mother had left behind for me there and got quite busy preparing to put it on the market in the coming months. It was not an easy decision but as I intend on residing here in the Netherlands permanently I figured the time has come to sell it, especially as I get older and looking after it from far becomes more difficult.

Letting Go

The apartment is currently being rented out to the son of a friend. I hesitated selling in the past but did not want to keep it empty when I am in Japan only a few weeks a year. After ten years though I felt it was time to let it go. It took that long but I was not ready then but now I can safely say I am prepared to take the plunge. And why have I been so attached to this apartment? That was the place I was raised between ages of 5 and 15, a large chunk of childhood and early teenage years. I watched my parents appearing happy together then eventually falling apart until their divorce when I was thirteen. Lots of memories from as far back as 55 years ago. Not easy letting go is it?

Clearing Out

With the sale of the apartment comes clearing out the place. And that I was not at all looking forward to! Since my tenant is not moving out till March-end, I had to start with the storage room on the ground floor which has the most items all boxed up for years, needing to be opened, unpacked and sorted: Keep and ship back home, pass onto family or dispose of. Very heavy stuff, and not just physically but more emotionally! Still, it all has to be done, so taking a breath and that’s what I ended up doing: Opening boxes, browsing, reflecting, crying, rejoicing and where applicable purging…

Amazing Discoveries

Although it was indeed a heavy assignment, it also came with amazing discoveries. Stuff of course from my parents such as old photographs including those of my mother in high school in the early 1940s. Found old passports and even airline tickets from my parents’ journey around the world in 1969 which of course I am holding on to. Then my own stuff too, from my childhood and teenage years: yearbooks (toss, I never liked my photos), varsity letter jacket from high school, diaries I wrote during my “difficult” teen years, old letters, fashion journals and even my old artwork! That’s right, my art journal which was required to pass the International Baccalaureate (IB) exams in 1983. Oh and some old art supplies too! And the one kawaii item I found stashed in one of the boxes: My Snoopy plushie. I thought I had lost her, but sure enough after 55 years she happened to turn up, and what a happy reunion that was!

Healing Journey

Those two weeks in Tokyo was indeed rather emotionally taxing But it did turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Years if not decades of blocked memories suddenly resurfacing after opening one box after another. I think of it as a healing process in which whatever I had put away and stored all those years and forgotten about has reappeared and gave me a sense of reassurance. Everything that was so “difficult” and challenging back then is now seen as something so trivial. I was so young then, and sometimes I wish I could go back in time, start over and this time take with me my life experience of today!

And hence, I thought sketching about it would let me deal with my emotions better. So much to absorb! Not enough room to write all here! As such, I am going to be writing about my findings in more detail in my upcoming entries. The fashion diaries. My old artwork from high school and rediscovering my passion 40 years later. And Snoopy of course! I can’t wait to write more…. so please keep your eyes peeled for further news!